December 1st, 2010: Novalita Constantine – Cont’d

It’s been about 2 weeks and some since I saw a woman my age die, since making friends with another woman that has not more than 4 months to live, and since I almost lost my own mother.

Life is such a strange thing, how one person dies while fighting to live and another prefers to die while they have every reason to live.

Life is a tricky that for the most we take it for granted until something major happens that opens our eyes. Why is it that we need life itself to smack us across the face so we can wake up? I can’t tell you the answer, but I do think us as humans are selfish beings who look and care only about ourselves and nothing else.

I’ve been taking a lot of lessons from life the last few weeks ever since my mom became ill with a heart condition that killed many in my family.

I think the greatest lesson I learned was just how much I love my mom. It’s not a given thing for me; our relationship has had its ups and downs. My mom is a great part of my life and maybe one of the most important people in it, but it wasn’t always like that. I blamed her for a lot that has gone wrong in my life. As a child she wasn’t a good parent to me, I was her own mental and physical punching bag (something that is still hard for me to confess).

As I grew older we became much closer like a real mother and daughter but I could never fully forgive her for my childhood, when all I needed was love and all I got was pain.

At the hospital while I was sitting beside her and taking care of her suddenly it felt like I became her mother, she was so ashamed I have to take care of her like that but for me it was a given. That’s when I knew how much I do love her how much she means to me and that I forgive her.

What was done was done, it’s in the past and I’m moving on.

____________________

Novalita Constantine lives in Israel. She is a SL photographer who also have worked and works with SL fashion magazines. While on SL she enjoys spending time with her friends having fun, discovering new things and fallwoing the latest SL fashion trends.

Novalita’s previous post was on October 29th, 2010.

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One Response to “December 1st, 2010: Novalita Constantine – Cont’d”

  1. Kilowatt Republic Says:

    Ily Nova! <3 You're a strong person, I'm happy to see that your relationship with your mom is getting better.

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