February 22nd, 2011: Arianna Earst – Cont’d

Lying there in bed this morning, I started pondering my current state of being. It’s something I do a lot but I try not to do too often because I get very overwhelmed by my thoughts. I feel like I am floating between two parallel worlds and I have a finger in one world and a toe in the other. It’s an unsettling feeling. It’s as if I am waiting for “something” to happen in my life and my world is on pause. I am trying to enjoy my life as I know that any day can be my last but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. I need to know that I am living each day with a purpose and right now, I don’t feel that way at all.

It’s nice to know that I have a purpose in Second Life and sometimes that fills the void for the short term but that quickly ends when I return to “First Life”. I do have long term goals, but I am struggling to create the small steps that lead up to the top. Coming from a world that was filled with activities, plans and goals… I am beginning to get lost in this new place. I realize it won’t be like this forever but when will it end? Will it be when I least expect it? It’s the questions and the unknown of this whole experience that I am uncomfortable with right now. I think most people would feel that way too, so that kind of comforts me to know I am not floating alone.

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Arianna Earst loves learning new things and is constantly curious and inquisitive about the world around her. It excites her to know that there is always something to learn until the day she leaves this earth. She has been in Second Life for the past two years and has recently begun dabbling in fashion blogging and tries to write in her personal blog when she isn’t stuck in her own head.

 

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