March 12th, 2010: Rylan Carling

I was seven years old when I lost my father to cancer.  I’ll always remember 8:30 a.m., March 12th, 1983, walking out of my bedroom and seeing paramedics working on my father’s body, trying desperately to revive him.  I remember hearing someone yell for me to go to my room, I remember my Aunt coming in after a few minutes explaining something about death and heaven, I remember bits and pieces of the funeral, and I remember my mother, the strong woman that she is, trying to hold it together for her children.  At the age of 35, she was now left alone in a country that wasn’t her homeland, with her sister, her sister’s husband and two small children, as the only family she had, and, I thank God every day that they were able to come and be here, for her, for us.  I was raised by a woman who learned a new language on her own, who put herself through school, who scrimped and saved to make sure her two kids had a house over their heads (completely paid for, even though he had not one penny in life insurance,) and who taught me to be a tenacious independent woman.
I followed in her footsteps.   I put myself through college (BA and MA), bought my first house on my own, and so on and so forth.   So, as I balance a full time career, parenthood, and every other hat I wear in this RL, I look toward SL to be my “breathing space.”  It gives me the opportunity to let go of the stress, of the “rat race,” of the nuances of everyday life.  This virtual world, that I am so blessed to have a tiny part of, gives me the opportunity to be, in all essence, free.  I am free to explore, to create, to heal, to find aspects of myself I never knew existed, to be whatever I want.

I believe that death is never an end…

Even in death, he is a part of me…even in death, he has influence on me…even in death, he is always with me…I love you daddy.

____________________

Rylan Carling was born and raised somewhere in IL.  She blogs and writes for Second Style Magazine, and blogs for herself in her spare time.  She adores her Flickr, is obsessed with photoshop, and learning as much as she can.

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4 Responses to “March 12th, 2010: Rylan Carling”

  1. Regina Says:

    Oh my gosh.. Rylan.. you have such an amazingly beautiful soul!! I have always been amazed at your strength and tenacity.. and can now understand where some of that comes from!
    Thank you for sharing this little tidbit of your rl..
    who cannot love this girl!!

  2. Silver Says:

    Your beauty caught my eye. Your charm drew me in. Every new insight I get into your life makes me crave to know even more. I’m so thankful I met you. You are truly a beautiful woman.

  3. Makenzie Irling Says:

    <3 <3

  4. Sixx Says:

    Thank you for sharing that.

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