March 16th, 2010: Gabby Panacek

Today I sat in a park with my best friend, a chocolatine and a coffee. It was a sweet departure from the responsibilities of home and work…even if just for a while.

My life has always been pretty structured. Work, home, sleep, work, lather, rinse, repeat. I was raised in a tight-knit, blue-collar family with high expectations. Behave this way, go to that school, get this job. They don’t really understand Second Life, and I don’t know how to explain it to them. Sometimes I feel like I’m hiding this whole double life from the people who should know me best. But, in actuality, they are sharing in it. We all bring parts of ourselves into this world and, if we are lucky, we take away a lot more than we bring in. The more I allow Gabby to teach me about myself, the more they see and participate in the changes in my life.

It has been 999 days since I first rezzed into Second Life. Gabby is my original avatar, and, for all intents and purposes, my only avatar.  Gabby is as much a part of me as she is separate from me.  Gabby is outgoing and sometimes witty, whereas I am somewhat quiet and reserved. Over time, our personalities have merged to some extent and she has taught me things about myself I might otherwise have never discovered.  I’ve learned how to relax and take each moment as it comes. I’ve learned to communicate, even when I’m upset or angry, instead of shutting down. And, I’ve learned to love and to allow myself to be loved.

Which brings us back to the park.  As I sat there in the sun, I wasn’t thinking about the projects piling up on my desk, the voicemails and emails that will take hours to wade through when I return to the office or the kitty litter that will undoubtedly need to be changed when I get home. I was only thinking that, in that moment, I felt loved and free to return that love. And I have Second Life to thank for that.


Gabby Panacek was born in Illinois, USA and during the day works as a practice coordinator for a regional healthcare system and lives with a dog and two adopted cats.  In Second Life, Gabby blogs at Couture Conundrum, writes for Second Style Magazine and assists her partner, CodeBastard Redgrave, with the management of MechanizedLife.


5 Responses to “March 16th, 2010: Gabby Panacek”

  1. isle lunasea Says:

    At that moment, that was everything that mattered. And I am glad you felt it. <3

    very nicely said.

  2. Milla Michinaga Says:

    That was just beautiful <3

  3. Kissowa Says:

    Thank you for sharing. :)

  4. chestnutrau Says:

    Lovely post Gabby. thank you for sharing

  5. December 11th, 2010: Gabby Panacek – Cont’d « Two Three Six Five Says:

    […] Gabby’s previous post was on March 16th, 2010. […]

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