March 25th, 2010: Dot Chaffe

Editor’s Note: Due to the slightly graphic nature of the following post, I felt it necessary to preface it with a content warning. While this is a free-form project and not about censorship, please note that some of the words below may offend or shock readers.

Image by Flickr user Joseph Price, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 license

This day three years ago, at the age of 16, I was living with my grandmother.  Most people love their grandmothers. However, most people’s grandmothers aren’t crazy.  My grandmother, whose name was Galechka, was a very disturbed woman.

She knew I played and had friends in Second Life.  She didn’t like the competition for attention that she had with my SL friends so she banned me from playing.  This is when I realized I hated this woman.  She would watch me every second I was on the computer to make sure I wasn’t playing SL.

I was always looking for ways to piss her off and get back at her for not letting me have a life. One day, three years ago today, I got my revenge and child, it was sweet.
The woman decided that we were going to go to Wendy’s.  We got there and I ordered one of the salads while my grandmother ordered some cheeseburger that looked like it had a goat fetus on it.

I ate my salad, she ate her fetus burger.

Five minutes later: “Patrick, I don’t feel very well so I’m going to use the restroom.”

I didn’t think much of it at first but then 10 minutes, 20, 30, and finally 40 minutes passed and I decided I would be nice and go check on her to see if she had hopefully died, I mean, if she was still alive.  What I witnessed in that restroom would make anybody queasy.  This crazy woman shat ALL OVER THE RESTROOM.  There was fecal matter on the walls, ceiling, mirrors, everywhere BUT the toilet.  A bit of my soul died when I saw it. I simply walked out of the restroom, stunned.

How could a little Russian lady spray so much feces in a tiny room?

After I saw her trying to leave, I kindly told the manager that this old lady had shat all over the restroom. She didn’t appreciate it very much. She had to clean it up, and my revenge was complete. Two months later the woman passed away……

I only went to her funeral to make sure she was dead.

____________________

Dot Chaffe co-owns a shop in SL called skin&bones. He loves to hang out and mess around in SL. In real life, he is a 19 year-old gay man who lives with his crazy Russian aunt and his teen mom sister.  He plans to major in music composition one day.

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