March 28th, 2010: Litzi Xue

It is now as March is closing and April is approaching, that my mind and heart are all over the place. I have had people ask me if I ever have a bad day or if I hide it well. It’s yes to both. However, those I’m close to can tell when something is wrong.

First, some history: I started caring for my grandparents during my senior year so that my mom could keep working. Fast forward to 2008, I began noticing something wasn’t quite right with my health, but ignored it. My first priority was my grandparents, in particular my grandpa. Congestive heart failure, Grave’s Disease, and Gout made most of his days extremely painful and exhausting. On April 8, 2008, grandpa passed away and I kept pushing forward for the sake of my grandma and my mom.

But! Ayy me, I hit a brick wall in early 2009. Doctors confirmed what they suspected. I have Lupus. Yes, I was devastated. Yes, there are days when moving hurts like hell. Today is one of them.

I draw my strength from my grandpa. He kept journals of poetry, quotes, lyrics, and personal entries that made him smile. He hardly, if ever, complained and now with my own struggle, I try to do the same. I cry when I need to, but mostly I smile. I force myself to do something creative even on the days that the pain is great.

I joined Second Life thinking I could use it as a method of distraction from my grief. I’m happy to say it worked. I have met and made some amazing friends. I have my own blog and in some ways, it is my own SL “smile journal” filled with pretty things.

There are many important dates coming up that have marked my life. It is a challenge to be positive but I still am. So, my reason to smile today? My mom’s birthday. She didn’t celebrate last year but today we party. As for SL, in a few days my friends and I will be debuting our store at the Pose Fair.

Today isn’t perfect, tomorrow won’t be, but I’ll keep finding reasons to smile.

____________________

Litzi Xue is from Austin, Texas. She loves foreign movies, listens to way too much Japanese and Korean pop music, has a sock obsession in both lives, and sadly is just as short in her first life as she is in her second. She is a blogger and the co-owner of the soon to be opened Estetica, and likes to tell people they’re dead to her for 8 seconds.

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2 Responses to “March 28th, 2010: Litzi Xue”

  1. silver milneaux Says:

    <33333

    you are the strongest of all of us, litzi. and you make all our lives a better place.

  2. Adie Says:

    Litzi, You are probably the strongest person I know. Thank you thank you for posting this. It made me smile and tear up at the same time. I love your quote and it truly inspires me!!! The world needs more Litzis!!!!
    xo

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