May 15th, 2010: Delora Starbrook

Today is one of those important days on the calendar where I sit back and take a moment to remember where I’ve been.  It helps ground me, helps show me how I have changed: whether for the better or for the worse.  The month of May is a month of landmark moments in my journey through life, a month of disasters and victories.

This year, I am focusing on one particular success I had, four years ago today.  In front of a group of my peers, after a year of struggling and many tears, the group’s leader handed me a certificate and shook my hand in congratulations.  I had won my latest battle.  I had found myself again after twelve months of searching, through intensive psychiatric treatment and a lot of hard work relearning how to be me.

Borderline Personality Disorder is not a myth, nor a minor illness.  It has nearly destroyed my entire life repeatedly over the years, due to my own poor choices and inappropriate actions.  Yet I’m still here today, thanks to the help of the therapists, friends, and family who supported me through my darkest days.  The road to self discovery is hard enough without mental illness standing in your way, and nearly impossible when your own mind tries to block every step forward.  Yet somehow, through strength of will and desire to get well, I’ve made it this far.

The virtual world we live and play in is my practice ground for the skills I learned all those years ago, to keep me putting one foot in front of the other every day without giving up.  Thanks to Second Life, I’ve been developing the communication and relationship building skills that once eluded me like the Holy Grail.  I may not be the most tactful person at times, but I’m a work in progress.  I’ve learned patience, and I hope you can be patient with me on those days I’m less than awesome.

There are still good days and bad days.  There are nights when the world seems too complicated for me to bear;  however, today is going to be a good day.  I can already tell.

See you in-world.

____________________

Delora Starbrook is a Seattle, WA based Crazy Cat Lady with a spectacular view of a homeless shelter (and the city skyline) from her apartment window.  In Second Life, she is a successful content creator; the owner of Haven Designs, a fantasy apparel store.  Occasionally, she even blogs for Shopping Cart Disco.  She was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in May 2005.

Join us in recognizing May as Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month.  If you would like to learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder and what can be done to treat it, please visit the following website: http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/

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5 Responses to “May 15th, 2010: Delora Starbrook”

  1. Starfire Silverstar Says:

    Delora my darling you totally RAWK!!!! In this world, the virtual world, and in every single other world there is too!!!
    I can not even begin to tell you how much you brighten my days with your plurking and your comments and of course the clothes!!! ….
    *dramatically places the back of her hand to her forehead as she tilts her head back and smiles*….omg the CLOTHES!!! I totally love all the goodies you make!! MUWAH!!!
    You keep on keeping on sistah!!! And know that there’s another little voice out here in the wilderness that supports you 150%!!! You can IM, PP, or e-mail me anytime you like girlfriend!!! (cozy) (heart) (girlkiss)

    Love ya!!! MUWAH!!!
    ~Star

  2. Cyclic Gearz Says:

    <3 This is a touching post, you're awesome. You're extremely valued to me as a friend, ilu!

  3. Chalice Carling Says:

    I don’t know you Delora but I just wanted to say I think you are very brave. To possess such insight and your desire to overcome this…WOW. I wish you the very best on your journey.

  4. Arlana GossipGirl Says:

    I don’t know you either, but your post made me cry but it also gave me hope! My brother was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder five years ago. I see that battle in him every day and it breaks my heart. He is thwarted not only by his own mind, but my mom as well, who refuses to accept that he has a mental illness.

    Thanks for the rare of hope and your beautiful words! I wish you the best!!

  5. Amaliscious Destiny Says:

    I am so glad I went back and read previous entries! I too am a recovering Borderline, in my 3rd year. I applaud you for having the courage to come forward and share your story. <3
    Amali

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