May 22nd, 2010: Clark Bowenford

When I got in touch with Trace to write a post, I figured there’d be scads of people clambering at a chance to be on this blog and I’d have plenty of time to write. As it turns out he tells me, “Oh there’s never enough people! You’ll be on for tomorrow.”
So, here I am. I’m Clark, nice to meet y’all.

I started playing SL after Thanksgiving of 2008.  It’s a weird place. It’s full of everything that you thought you’d be escaping in real life… jealousy, drama, happiness… any emotion you can feel can happen in SL. Who ever thought that one could cry, laugh, and fume over a video game? I mean, I’ve seen people play their Xbox, and scream at it, and throw their controller down. The difference is, when they’re done pitching their fit… they press the “off” switch and all that anger and frustration is over.
“So I didn’t beat the boss at the end of the level. I’ll try again tomorrow.”

Can’t really do that here. I mean, sure. You can close out of it, but for me, I go to sleep thinking about the people of SL. I think about my close friends and the people I care about. I think about the people that have hurt me and have made me cry on here. It’s not just a game that entails putting down the controller and walking away.

You experience things here that make you say, “This is just a game though. Why does the hurt feel so real?”
Because it is. You share these genuine feelings with people that aren’t tangible. I continuously try to tell myself that there is no spoon, but how do you convince yourself when everything feels so real?

“Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.”
-Otomo No Yakamochi

I’m not asleep and yet, I’m still reaching.

____________________

Clark Bowenford is 29 years old living in South Carolina. In RL, she is an aspiring effects makeup artist for film and television and is a college student majoring in theatre. In SL,  she DJ’s at the Crow’s Foot, the Velvet, and hosts SL Karaoke at Mixtape. She is the sole writer and photographer for http:// whencuteattacks.wordpress.com and is a contributor for Rance Alva’s blog, Hidden Track. She is also an amateur clothing and tattoo designer and is owner of the store “kent”.

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