June 2nd, 2010: Elusyve Jewell

One of the most complex yet compelling things to explain to anyone in “First Life” is how “Second Life” helps one become more real.

Moist warm pug kisses between my toes; my current favourite thing to wake to. As my vivid dreams become faded, I remind myself that it is June now, and I have survived another dreaded May with a semblance of sanity.  Historically, the worse things in my adult life have occurred in the month of May.  I continue to wake slowly, drifting and daydreaming, I rush few things in life.

“Four be the things I’d have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.”  Dorothy Parker

People often comment about how my positivity benefits and encourages those I interact with.  I try to motivate with what I consider, only the very best of me.  I am often overwhelmed by many expectations, doubting my ability to succeed, so much so that unbeknownst my fear rules me.

I was the freckled redheaded girl with the Shetland pony named Ginger.  I had a childhood to be envied, even if I was somewhat sheltered.  I am curious;  Does this innocence make me more susceptible to emotional abuse?  Again curious; Does a passive and empathic personality naturally invite abuse? Invisible scars of emotional abuse, from my first marriage seem to never heal.   It must be frustrating to deal with someone who refuses to fight back, who calmly responds with logic and love and acceptance of differences.

Elusyve is the freckled redheaded elf with a black Percheron unicorn named Finnegan.  Despite her outward serenity, she really is the most amusing of flat-butted gnome geeks, a representation of the things I love about myself… most of the time.  Second Life has helped me to open my heart again, and taught me that love means sharing all of you, even the not so perfect parts.

I have learned that I need to listen to the whispers from my heart, rather than the screams of all my fears and doubts. It has helped me become more vulnerable, more human, and more real, in both lives.

“Now two be the things I’d have been better without: fear and doubt.” ~ eLu

____________________

Elusyve Jewell rezzed late Feb 07 and began blogging a few months later, first at http://www.elusyve.blogspot.com, and eventually starting a second more sl fashion oriented blog at http://www.slaundry.blogspot.com , as justification for spending lindens excessively, as well as to share her inworld photography. Her typist lives in Northern Ontario, Canada and has an addiction to commas.  She finds joy in her pugs, her passion is photography, and she is patient, believing beauty reveals itself. She adores quotations and song lyrics, as they confirm that wisdom, emotion, and experience are timeless, as well as global. Often criticized for being overly emotional and sentimental, as well as naïve and gullible, despite her 44 years, still often hears the words “grow up!”.  She now celebrates her freckles, curiosity, and love every day as believing in the words of Dr. Seuss:  “Adults are just obsolete children”

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6 Responses to “June 2nd, 2010: Elusyve Jewell”

  1. Winter Says:

    You did so, so well with this – brave Elu. I love you so much.

    <3

  2. December Says:

    Such a lovely entry…just like it’s author <3

  3. Strawberry Singh Says:

    I love your freckled-face and flat-butt. <333

  4. Daila Holder Says:

    I’m not so freckled, but I am redheaded. Also, I dread May in much the same way for exactly the same reason. I breathe a sigh of relief when May turns to June.

  5. whispersmagic Says:

    This was lovely and thank you for sharing! <3

  6. Sophia Harlow Says:

    You are so lovely and brave you take my breath away. I wish I could have been as brave as you were with my own entry. Much love to you.

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