I woke up today feeling the best I have in months. Something about curling up in the warm spot the person next to you has left really makes it hard to have a bad day. I’ve barely been in SL the past two weeks. At first I was stressing a bit, SL is pretty much my crutch most days, as I’m sure it is for a lot of people for various reasons. I used to think that SL was the only place I could be happy. I had the freedom to be myself, do what I wanted and try things I never had the chance to in RL. A few months ago that all changed. I hurt people I really cared about and I got hurt pretty badly in return. I no longer feel safe in SL, that I’m able to escape from things there.
I’ve been debating leaving SL for a while now. Not like “oh byee everyone I’m leaving” only to come back a week later, “just kidding guys! just kidding!”. This mini break has been kind of good for me though. I don’t think I’ll be parting ways anytime soon, but I do realize that there is so much more to life than what I can find in front of my computer. I think we all come to that point eventually.
As I curled up in bed to type this up my boyfriend sleepily mumbled “I love you”, I hear his heavy breathing next to me as I try to think of what the fuck to write (rereading this now it sounds totally awful) Sometimes writing comes easily to me, tonight, just not happening. I’m going to submit this as is because no amount of editing right now is going to make it better. Right before I click send I snuggle under the covers and I know, as much as I love SL, the people there, the things I can create, the fun I can have…nothing compares to that warmth of having someone you love, inches away, loving you back.
Makenzie Irling lives in the oh-so-wonderful state of Ohio. She enjoys both SL and RL photography, spending countless hours on omgpop, and loves to read whenever she can. In Second Life Makenzie has her own fashion blog, an interior design blog and also makes furniture for her store Barcode when the mood strikes her. She and her pet dinosaur Franklin love to explore, make friends and enjoy random acts of nonsense.
Makenzie’s previous post was on March 20th, 2010.