August 23rd, 2010: Crys Lexenstar

I have followed twothreesixfive for a while and was always jealous of those who had such a heartfelt story to share. Mostly because I never felt like I had much to say.

Then… it dawned on me as I sat on Plurk after coming back from a short break.

I realized that my blunt honesty has killed many friendships I used to have. There’s a side of me that feels it’s quite sad that people can’t seem to handle someone speaking their mind, but then again… I need to keep remembering that Second Life is a world away from the truth and the real. I figured that maybe this time around I would try harder remain close-lipped and keep a lot of my opinions to myself.
The sad thing is, I’m not like this in real life. I stick to myself, I really don’t go out as much as I used to, and I watch what comes out of my mouth.  But Second Life and Plurk has become my outlet, letting me finally be the person I wish I really was:  someone who could speak their mind without the worry of judgement.   However, in the end run, its done nothing but alienate me.
I’ve contemplated leaving SL. I’ve tried to leave Plurk.  But my pride gets in the way and I wouldn’t ever allow anyone else’s opinions towards me to force me away from something I enjoy.  So I sit on SL, surf Plurk and have fun posting my pointless thoughts, trying hard to ignore the lack of comments I have(n’t) acquired.  And shockingly, I have found I feel more fulfilled knowing that a few deletes and blocks do nothing but prove to me that some can’t handle the “truth” and chose to live life through rose-colored glasses, shunning those who don’t see eye to eye…. something I wouldn’t ever do.

In conclusion, I apologize to those I have hurt or offended.  But I don’t apologize for speaking my mind.  Because it’s who I am.  And who I will continue to be.  I don’t, and won’t, ever change for anyone just to fit in to a pixel-laden world.
I quite like who I am.

____________________

Crys Lexenstar is a newly turn 30-year-old, living outside of Detroit, MI with her best friend.  When not aimlessly standing around Second Life or Plurking, she spends her time traveling as often as possible, making plans to make a huge move to another country for the hell of it, and loving every minute of life.

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2 Responses to “August 23rd, 2010: Crys Lexenstar”

  1. ~~Sunshine~~ Says:

    (hugs) Speaking one’s mind can always be freeing, but yes…it can be alienating. While some might not can handle ‘your’ truth, you have to be who you are and manage the consequences of those that don’t want to be faced with that opinion. Many people don’t always remember that it is merely your opinion…and sometimes, it might not be the words at all, but the way the opinion is delivered. Enjoy life – first and second – the way YOU want to…Thank you for sharing and best wishes if you are able to make that huge move. Go for your dreams, make memories, and hopefully develop long lasting friendships along the way :)

  2. Starfire Silverstar Says:

    (applause) You GO GIRL!!! It’s always best to speak your mind and follow your heart. I send you great kudos for doing so!! Your truth is just that “your” truth. What might be right and true for you may not apply to the person next to you, but it doesn’t make it any less true or valid. While sometimes being told the truth might seem a little hurtful to some, if we are able to take a step back and think about what was said then we just might discover something new about ourselves and learn and grow. Amazing! :D
    Just continue to be who you are (in any life) because who you are is pretty spectacular!!! And that’s my truth! (cozy) (girlkiss)
    ~Star

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