My day has been filled with boundary-finding conversations about the nature of love and relationships. These big talks about important things that define the bonds we’ve made are complicated enough, but yet here we all are, adding further complexity by slapping a few screens and thousands of miles of cabling between us and the ones we love.
Love. Each love we have is different. The love we give isn’t the same as the love that is received; the love we feel isn’t always the love that was intended. I don’t understand love, or pretend to, but I love love.
My conversations today have been based in the real world, a place where I have opened up my heart and accepted the love I deserve at last. It has been a long and hard journey that I could not have even contemplated, were it not for the wonderful support I have had from my Second Life friends and family. This seems like a mantra for these posts here, but so many of us cannot be wrong.
In my real life, I have struggled a lot with understanding why I deserve the love that I am blessed to have heaped on me. Those in my first life, for a very long time, have not been given the chance to understand the way I feel, because I kept these feelings bottled up. It has been easier, for me, to open up to the amazing people I count as real friends, but who I met in SL. Their acceptance of me, broken and flawed and beautiful, over time, has given me the confidence to let the real me shine in my real life.
It continues to be a struggle every day, as I try to keep my heart open in both worlds. I will never be entirely convinced that the sweet things my nearest and dearest say about me are true, but oh my, I love them for saying it. And they love me.
For Kaz Nayar, Suti Capalini, Sissi String, CK Winx, JamieJo Myoo, Abby McDonnagh, Bette Bodenhall, Shana Pizzaro and Jaden Robbiani. I love you, too. Thank you.
Katey Coppola still loves making things for GLITTERATI more than she loves leaving the house, but don’t tell her real life friends that. She is learning to say “survivor” instead of “victim”, and is one of those annoying people who actually performs random acts of kindness at any opportunity possible. (Seriously, three weeks ago she saw an old lady in a store trying on a hat, and sneakily bought it for her at the counter, then ran off giggling). She is getting a little bit better each day.
Katey’s previous post was on March 3rd, 2010.