October 14th, 2010: Dove Swanson

 

I knew what I wanted to say months ago when I picked this day. I wanted to talk about fate and how a random guy, walking into a random shop, while the owner just happened to be there and randomly sparked up a conversation, could end up in today being three years later and a relationship that I can’t imagine my life without.

But today all I can think about is how I constantly feel like I’m having an “out of body” experience, in both lives. All of the talk of Halloween on the blogs and in shops, and in past years this would have excited me as well and making it to that really happening Halloween party would have been a highlight of the month. Today, I just keep picturing it all like a fish in a bowl. Does the fish know he’s in a bowl? Or does he think he’s in the wide open sea?

I don’t know why I can’t seem to find my place in either life. Both lives feel like I am sitting outside of them, watching them happen without the ability to join them. I can’t help wondering if I’m the fish out of water or if I’m pretending. Am I pretending that I don’t know the walls are all around me, and that the trees are all plastic?

I could continue in this way forever, so I’ll end this day in the same way I do others – filled with too much wondering about life rather than doing life. Maybe next year.

____________________

Dove Swanson is a twenty-eight year old female who resides in the south-eastern United States with her mother and younger brother. She is currently working on a bachelors in Sociology and may actually make it through if she can ever pass a math class. In SecondLife she owns a pose store and when she’s not procrastinating she actually creates poses for it – imagine that.

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3 Responses to “October 14th, 2010: Dove Swanson”

  1. elusyve Says:

    <3 love you chickadee.. I remember walking into your shop too, and the funny comments about someone looking good all dressed in brown… oh and the random stalkers who found my treehouse. I am so glad you are part of my sl life, and so proud of you and your accomplishments <3 I wanna be you, and do you too!!

  2. Daila Holder Says:

    “I don’t know why I can’t seem to find my place in either life. Both lives feel like I am sitting outside of them, watching them happen without the ability to join them”

    ^ This has been my last year.

    “I could continue in this way forever, so I’ll end this day in the same way I do others – filled with too much wondering about life rather than doing life.”

    ^ This is how I spend most days.

    I can’t seem to break the cycle.

    I’m glad to know I’m in good company, but I’m reaching the point where I don’t think I remember how to actually accomplish anything.

  3. Winter Says:

    Your friendship changed my SLife, and in doing so helped my other life in ways that I never imagined. I never looked for any kind of a family online, but somehow I ended up with a bratty sister that I cherish very much. No matter where your wanderings from oneself to nextself take you, always remember that there’s a freak on the other side of the world that loves you very much, Chicken.

    >:E

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