October 25th, 2010: Airedine Poe – Cont’d

I got hired as the official illustrator of a larp rulebook and spent today working on the world and local maps. It’s a new experience for me. I usually draw… women. Pretty women. Quite honestly I don’t much deviate from that unfortunately. I often wish I did more, and I’ve been trying to really broaden my horizons. I made a repeating texture for mountains and for trees, and shaped the land around the rough sketches I was given to work from. I can’t lie, there’s a strange sense of power, essentially sculpting a world that others will be playing in. I even got to name one of the bodies of water.

I was going to write about my vampire the masquerade character that I recently had to retire and am kind of upset about, but that got me thinking about something else entirely. I don’t usually notice it at all but I’m very neurotic when it comes to acceptance from others. When I ask a question, especially on msn, and the other person takes a long time to answer it absolutely eats me up inside. There’s one guy that I met back in August that I don’t have sexual feelings for at all but we drank together and really bonded and had a fantastic time… but now I find he can’t make the time of day for me and I can’t tell if it’s my mind just eating me up and it really is just that he’s busy with school or if I’m too stupid to take a hint when it’s given. I never know how to act when I’m around him. Are we friends or aren’t we? Can I be bubbly and fun or am I overstepping? How would I even ask that? How do you look at someone who’s nice enough to you when you’re there but can’t make the time of day to even talk to you “Hey… So are we friends or aren’t we? If you don’t want to hang out or whatever just say so.”

Or maybe I’m just reading more into it than is necessary.

I still can’t tell though.

____________________

Airedine Poe is 22, lives in Canada, is taking a year off from going to school for animation, makes things for her store Adore&Abhor in Second Life, and moonlights as a priestess of Bacchus in a live-action fantasy roleplay once a month. Sometimes she also plays a vampire in the dark ages. She enjoys drawing, designing, playing videogames, watching movies where things blow up, adding obscure English words to her vocabulary, and being awesome. True story.

Airedine’s previous post was on October 20th, 2010.

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