November 2nd, 2010: SarahBear18 GossipGirl

 

I woke up this morning and went to my computer thinking about how I could word exactly what I want to say, or what I want to talk about for that matter. So much has happened.

I was engaged to be married in Second Life. I had all of the plans pretty much done, I had plurked about it a million times, and I was about to send out the invitations. It was then that both of our real lives got in the way of things, and he said to postpone the wedding. Inside I was panicking, but on the outside I wanted to seem gracious and I said it was alright. Little did I know that he would stop coming online, or stop calling me altogether. After a month of not hearing from him at all, I sent him a goodbye letter and unpartnered him. I still miss him, but I’ve gotten over it quite a bit.

Today also marks two weeks since I got the most horrible news I have ever gotten. Early Tuesday morning two weeks ago, I was told that my mother had passed away. She had Multiple Sclerosis, but she died of kidney failure. I’ve been crying about losing my mom for the last two weeks, and I probably will never stop crying until her and I are reunited in Heaven someday. (Yes I am a Christian and I believe there is a Heaven.)

Through all of this, I am very surprised at myself at how strong I have been. I guess I’ve come a long way from the last post I wrote for this blog. I hardly ever think about cutting myself anymore, which I take as a good sign. You could say I’m choosing to not dwell on the past; instead I am choosing to strive towards the future and hope it all gets better.

I am also very grateful for my friends in SL and on Plurk. They have been there for me; listened to me when I cried, gave me hugs, and listened to me rant about how much of a flake my ex is. I do not know what I would do without them.

____________________

SarahBear18 GossipGirl is now 20 years old and has been pouring out her heart and pent up emotions in her RL blog, Simply Sarah. She still lives at home, but is working on getting out and changing her life for the better.

SarahBear18’s previous post was on June 13th, 2010.

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One Response to “November 2nd, 2010: SarahBear18 GossipGirl”

  1. Adelayda Says:

    I love you bestie! You are an amazing person! and I believe your mother would be proud at how strong you are. :)

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