November 28th, 2010: Mariah Urriah

Every day I sit on my old tattered desk chair, place a cup onto the 30-year-old coaster on the surface of my cheap desk and boot up my computer.  Everyday I convince myself that it will be different, that today maybe something will happen.  While I’m convincing myself that maybe there is some use to this, my mouse hovers onto that familiar button and my computer takes my mortal soul and place it into the body of an eternal, youthful, attractive, virtual 20-something on my computer screen. My transplanted humanity, which now controls this virtual being, tries to forget the pain and anguish its body feels on a daily basis and tries to be whatever is on the list for the day: a glamorous model, an intelligent writer, a stylish blogger, a perfect mother or a perky cheerleader. Second Life is a way for me to be what I thought I was going to be in high school: perfect.

In my quest for digital perfection, I began to look for why I felt the need to be perfect.  All of my life, I always had to be the best.  I was the best flutist, the best dancer, graduated top of my class in high school, and graduated cum laude in college, but I never felt like I did anything right. I’m the person that constantly fixes things because it just doesn’t look right to me, much to the dismay of friends.  Living in a virtual world allowed me to achieve what nature never gave me, the perfect body with the perfect hair and the perfect walk.  Being perfect was what drew me to Second Life day after day, making me neglect the imperfect person controlling the beautiful person.  My perfect little world could not last long, however, as the imperfect real world forced its way back into my consciousness. Following the death of my father after a horrendous home invasion and murder, I spent most of last year and part of this year in and out of courtrooms seeing the alleged murderers get acquitted.  Going through that ordeal made me retreat more and more into my perfect world.  Then one day, I looked in the mirror and saw a perfect imperfect person that only wanted self-love.

I then realized that there is no such thing as a perfect world.

____________________

Mariah Urriah is a seasoned model, designer and style blogger with Shangri La Style.  In the real world, she is an overachieving IT professional from Americus, GA learning to love herself and accept that the world isn’t perfect.

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3 Responses to “November 28th, 2010: Mariah Urriah”

  1. Stacie Pryor Says:

    I can relate to so much of what you have written here. Thank you for sharing. <3

  2. Asia Romano Says:

    Beautifully written. :)

  3. Gogo Says:

    Hi Mariah! I love your post, and I’ll always think that you have one of the best names in SL! :)

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