November 30th, 2010: Sophia Harlow – Cont’d

Today is my eldest sister’s birthday. It may seem odd to write about because she is healthy but for me it is important. You see, my sister saved my life.
I am the youngest of 4 much older daughters born to my father. I was a “surprise” and my parents were separated by the time I was born. My father was a surgeon who practiced in a different country but would come visit us once a month and my mother remarried when I was a toddler. My sisters did everything for me. They moved out before I could walk but 2 lived very close and doted on me as if I was their own. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was good. I lived for when my father and older sister would visit. As much as my dad was my entire world, my sister hung the moon in my world.

January 1, 1984 my world collapsed. My dad was killed by a drunk driver and I was 9 years old at the time. The pain in my heart was so great it was like a heavy cloak that I carried everywhere with me. It was crippling and I grieved so deeply it terrified my family. I refused to eat, to go to school; I stopped speaking and would only sob for hours. When merciful sleep did happen, I would awake screaming for my dad. I was lost in grief.

My eldest sister flew to see what she could do, because everyone was at a loss. She was only 24 years old when she demanded to take custody of me. June 1984 I moved to California, and with patience, time and love… she healed my soul. It took years and it wasn’t always easy. I was sure she would leave me but she reminded me daily she wasn’t going anywhere. She loved me even when I grew into a very stubborn teenager that rebelled against rules and into a young adult that thought she knew everything. She refused to let my spirit die and didn’t let me become a victim of grief. I love her with a love that is so deep and true that I am positive she is my angel, because she saved my life. Happy Birthday, V.


Sophia Harlow still works in publishing, is still married to an amazing man whom she is certain could build a house out of twigs and popsicle sticks.  She writes the monthly Second Style Fashion Icon article for Second Style Magazine, as well as blogs for the Second Style website and also on her own sweet little fashion blog.  She may or may not also have a more RL blog that she will give you the link to if you ask nicely.  She still pays attention to everything and rarely misses a thing. She believes in healing power of pug love, kisses, magic, kismet, soul mates but hates the word soul mates. Sophia smiles 95% of the day and is prone to laughing almost as much. She blushes far too easily but is rarely embarrassed and when excited she speaks with her hands. She loves lip gloss, jelly beans, listening to songs she adores over and over again but hitting replay before they are over so they don’t end.  Sophia still hates white condiments and spilling anything on herself. Oh, and her dad will forever be the first love of her life.

Sophia’s previous post was on June 1st, 2010.


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