January 7th, 2011: Valletta GossipGirl

What has the new year brought me.. so far? I guess that depends on how you look at it. It has been a week since the new year and it has been a week since my birthday, and what’s new, for starters the simple things like new gadgets, classes, people, friendships, and plans. And the biggest change of them all is the end of a relationship. It has been five days since loneliness has left its trail. And I am no longer a we, instead I am just me.

Which leads to the next bit, sometimes I really hate that question, ‘are you ok?’, although I have been guilty of using it at times. But it seems people can’t stop asking me that now, “Are you ok?” And what exactly do I say to that.. I tell them the truth I say I’m fine. But then I ask myself, what does that even mean, I’m fine that it’s over, I’m fine that this is all new to me again. And I haven’t even shed a tear, so I ask myself am I really dealing with this, does it make me a bad person. So when this question comes up, I end up slamming myself with thirty more questions. Not only that, I now seem to see you everywhere. And I need this to stop for the sake of my own sanity.

Even with all that said you brought light back into my life when I was surrounded by darkness, cliché I know, but it’s the truth. And just as quickly as that happened, I feel it drifting away. Today I feel that unsettled loneliness begin to creep up onto me, but I shoot it down, because I have hope, each day gets a little easier and better. And I feel grateful to know that I have friends to turn to in my daily life, whether it be in the real world or in Second Life.

____________________

Valletta GossipGirl is a West Coast kid going to college, who lives with a bunch of crazy girls. In SL she divides her time between blogging – The Closet Diary, and spending time with her awesome friends. Also, she spends way too much time on Plurk. And in RL studies and random crazy events consume most of her time.

 

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6 Responses to “January 7th, 2011: Valletta GossipGirl”

  1. meme solo Says:

    <3 I'm sorry Vall! You know you got us if you ever need to vent or just.. act a fool. ily and I'm happy you are a part of our group <33333

  2. Ashe Anthony Says:

    What Meila said, we love you.

    I’m so sorry :(

  3. Lila Quander Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that. Like the saying goes, “Time heal all wounds”. I know it’s cliche, but it is soooo true. Anyway, I know I don’t know you very well, but I am behind you 100% <3

  4. silver milneaux Says:

    argh Val hugs I’m sorry you’re hurting :(

  5. Kilowatt Republic Says:

    -hugs-

  6. isadora Says:

    vall, i am so glad you are strong through this whole ordeal.
    i hope i can always be someone you turn to
    and that i can help you shine through your darkness!<3

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