Yesterday, I buried my older sister. She passed away in April of last year, of an accidental drug overdose. We had a memorial service at the time, but the confusion and disagreement was such that it took 10 months to come to agreement on her final resting place. She had a terrible disease which no amount of love or caring could cure. In the confusion and grief of her death, I became, “the person in charge.” Well, I’ve actually been that for a long time now. When it became clear 7 years ago that she would be unable to raise her three children, my husband and I adopted them. It’s been a long 10 months, in which it was hard to talk about what happened, or try to explain the long story of what it was like to become a mother overnight to any but my closest friends who already knew.
In the morning before I left for the funeral, I had a text from Kess, saying, “if you need me, call.”
I’ve been fortunate there were people in my life that I didn’t have to explain to. They accepted and understood my anger, grief, and paralysis. Those people are my friends in Second Life. I couldn’t speak my grief out loud to anyone other than my husband in my real life. A part of me felt that if I fell apart, my family and kids would too, so I had to hold it together. But being able to type it out, and have my friends listen and offer love and acceptance, that has made all the difference in the world.
Yesterday was closure, for my family and especially the kids that are now mine more than ever, and who embody the best parts of both my sister and I hope, myself. So I want to thank my friends who gave me the gift of their time, Kess, Avi, Lizzie and Hethr. There is a level of acceptance and comfort in the Second Life community that means so much to me, and I really want to acknowledge and recognize it. It’s helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life. Thank you.
Mouse Mimistrobell is a builder and shop owner in Second Life and a wife and the mother of three teenagers in Real Life.